The Checkoff List..... A Roadmap

We are all obsessive in one way or another. Our minds working overtime with all that needs to be done. We run from task to tasks always in pursuit of accomplishment. Then and only then we think., we can relax. The days work is done. And in the early evening light we finally breathe. All’s well with the world. We turn off the churning mind only to start again tomorrow. And on and on we go. Endless until we find a way to keep it in check.

For me its the ‘list’ It’s my way of keeping track. What needs to be done? Committing it to a list helps take it off my mind. One less obsession. Easier way to move through the day. Shortcut to accomplishment - clear-eyed and directed. And the best part is the check off. It’s done. To be continued? Yes. But for today -for the moment- a lightness of being.There is happiness in crossing off and seeing what has been tackled.

But in all this what I have found is that its ok if it doesn’t all get done. Its ok sometimes to ignore the ‘duties’ and take a walk instead or sleep in or lay down veg and dream a little. No real need to push ourselves ad infinitum. It will get done. Maybe not today and if not the day after that’s fine too. We know the sun will raise tomorrow and our ‘checkoff list’ will still be there. We’ve committed it to paper. It’s not going anywhere. Whenever we need there it will be….even Santa has a check off list. And look how much he accomplished.

Coming Out

First true day of winter like weather although we are already past the due date as far as I'm concerned.  Ninety-nine point nine percent of everyone I know would disagree. Most people are over winter before it even starts. But my fashion closet has been screaming to come out and play since October. Skipped Fall. Sweater weather never came. It went. Somewhere.. I sweated my way through the holiday season wondering why I ever packed my summer clothes. Oh! right. I have room in my closet for one season at a time. At our place you're either under the bed packed and waiting to come out or your in the closet waiting to work it. 

So today I worked it. Out came the navy single breasted JCrew coat, the cute clog boots from Anthro ,my Fila track pants ( I was going to yoga class) and it was even cold enough for a light blue knit cap. I smiled. My closet smiled back.  We didn't spend our money foolishly. We dressed and felt good about it.Heaven.

I'm sure when winter finally settles in with endless days of icy snow covering every inch of sidewalk I'll be so over it. I'll be setting my compass for all points south. Bored and impatient sarongs and flip flops  will replace sugar plum fairies I'm sure. But for today it was Heaven.

New York. New York

So we New Yorkers are a bad lot. We're accused of indifference to the human condition and an inability to choose our own leaders. We are being duped and don't even know it.

So what if we hold tight to our sense of space in a very dense city. We want to sit on the subway or bus and use the next seat for our bags pretending we don’t see the person standing over us may want to sit too. We want to hail a cab whenever and it better be air conditioned in the summer. We expect to walk for hours on end and never really have to talk to anyone. Wear red lipstick at noon, black in July and white shoes in February. It’s an inalienable right available to everyone. There maybe a Starbucks on every corner but some of us still search for that singular coffee place owned by that one person pursuing an idea for something different. Yet another person wants that diner coffee in the turquoise and white paper cup, lattes, soy milk ,grande and tall be gone.

In short we want it all and expect to find it if not around the block at least an Uber drive away. And all that may sound self involved and snobbish it’s true. We are maybe a strange lot living in a world within a world.  We are also those who help the woman with the impossible stroller make it up the subway steps and the tourist asking where Shake Shack is even when we don’t know the neighborhood ourselves. We answer brusquely. Two blocks down. Two over. At the corner on the left.  We love our city and love sharing it. It may not show when we are ready to jump ahead in line no matter who was there first. Diversity is our normal. And because it is we can be who we are even when we don’t even know who that is yet. Being the city of many it offers us the opportunity to be a ghost or a superstar. We can blend in or stick out. Sometimes even on the same day.

We choose to be here. In an election year when choice is the issue and politicians rave on about it and how diversity is our new blueprint there are still some who think the city is anything but. If diversity is the new blueprint it is one that has for the most part worked successfully here. It's a city always on the make, always changing. Yet at it's core it is a city that answers dreams or at least let's you dream them.  And by the way we and our chosen leaders are doing just fine thank you.

Oh ! No. Really?

Hardest word in the English language.  One that I rarely use.   Let’s skip the psychological implications of that statement. I’m sure there are many but I’ll leave that for a therapy blog. My inability to say no circles more basic life issues.

I go shopping and come home with not one pair of shoes but two. If not more.   One sweater or skirt or even one coat? Hardly ever. Empty handed? Not often.  I won’t even go into lipsticks. Sephora sees me coming I’m convinced.  

Less is best. I hear it said often. It’s actually a philosophy I try to live by. In the words of one of my favorite icons Diana Vreeland “Less is more’ I think she probably meant not everything should be worn all at once. But finding the right thing that fits and looks good is like striking gold. When it comes in more than one really nice color, in a girl's world, that’s like a trifecta. And I’ve been living these trifectas for a long time. Money going out.  Money going out.  But worth every penny. Most girls would agree. To look good is divine. Truth be told.

But recently I’ve seen changes. At first I was honestly shocked. Did I just walk out of that store and not buy a thing I would think. Shocking. Did I just say no to myself and actually vetoed that great…..this, that, or the other. I’m thinking that the impetus was that final hundred millionth attempt at a closet clean out. Room clean out really. Since everything is everywhere hiding in corners or stuffed in the bottom of closets. I have the stuff but I can’t even find it to wear it. Something had to change

So like an epiphany a thought became an action. I have enough I thought (ok, maybe I’m exaggerating a bit) but I’m learning to say No by saying Yes to change. Let’s see what it brings.

Justified

I make justifications for everything. I think maybe we all do. The fight with the hubby or significant other,with the kids , the lady at the checkout, even the atm machine-last resort on the badest of bad days. Justification seems to help the behavior until we can figure it out. And maybe then we make amends or promise ourselves, at four in the morning, never to act like that again. Ever. 

 By a stretch or two of the imagination I've decided to somehow use this same perspective to alleviate the guilt of shopping. A women I once worked with who loved the 'secretary' look [skirts, bow blouses,heels and stockings [love that look myself] and shopped any and every vintage spot she could find mentioned that she justified her purchases by how often she wore them. She had developed an almost mathematical approach to her rational. A= B=C ,maybe not quite, but it made sense.  Buy it, wear it and enjoy it.  

So get into that closet. Change it up. Wear that coat hiding in the back  you brought on sale at the height of the summer knowing it would be perfect for the fall. Use the bag stashed away that you brought at that sample sale. Work beyond the first 1/3 of your closet. Justify those expenses.

That's my new approach. It's been working. I'm thinking through how I dress instead of dressing blindly hoping for the best. Its fun and best of all I actually find myself wearing all those purchases.  At least a good lot of them.  Somehow shopping has become less spontaneous and emotionally driven which scares me truth be told. Cannot believe that can last.

But as they say in the movies: If you build it they will come. I say if you wear it you will become happier. Less guilt. More joy. Justified and looking good too.